- Interviewer: Okay. Which designers do you prefer?
- Hillary Clinton: What designers of clothes?
- Interviewer: Yes.
- Hillary Clinton: Would you ever ask a man that question?
- Interviewer: Probably not. Probably not.
Selecting a Reader
—Ted Kooser, “Selecting a Reader” (via bookoasis)
First, I would have her be beautiful,
and walking carefully up on my poetry
at the loneliest moment of an afternoon,
her hair still damp at the neck
from washing it. She should be wearing
a raincoat, an old one, dirty
from not having money enough for the cleaners.
She will take out her glasses, and there
in the bookstore, she will thumb
over my poems, then put the book back
up on its shelf. She will say to herself,
“For that kind of money, I can get
my raincoat cleaned.” And she will.
- Future Daughter: Whoa. Mom. I just saw this movie called She's All That on my iGlasses.
- Me: You were supposed to be watching a documentary on heroines in the middle ages. We were supposed to be discussing Eleanor of Aquitaine right now. It's in my iSchedule.
- Future Daughter: Whatever. So, before the Civilian Protection Act made it illegal for you to congregate in huge public groups, like schools or churches, um...was high school really like that?
- Me: No. First of all, everyone in high school was a schlubby teenager. Not a beautiful 20-something actor.
- Future Daughter: Oh. Okay. Did you ever go to Prom?
- Me: I went to Junior Prom.
- Future Daughter: Did you all have a big dance number to Slimboy Fat?
- Me: To Fatboy Slim? No. We didn't have the organization or athletic co-ordination. We were real people.
- Future Daughter: What about your Senior Prom?
- Me: I skipped Senior Prom to see Star Wars in the movie theater.
- Future Daughter: What's Star Wars?
- Me: It's...It's...a really great sci-fi fantasy epic trilogy and then three other terrible prequels to that should never have been made. It's banned now. Because it preaches active resistance.
- Future Daughter: Oh. The one thing I didn't get in She's All That...why does taking off her glasses suddenly make her prettier?
- Me: No one knows, child. No one knows.
Only in America would there be a massacre in a movie theater followed by a national discussion not about assault weapons and extended magazines, but about violent movies and whether or not people should be allowed to wear costumes when they watch them.