Bookoisseur

I read. I write. I spend all together too much time on the internet. I talk incessantly about books, TV and movies. I write for Hello Giggles, and tweet frequently as Bookoisseur.
~ Friday, April 18 ~
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I’ve always been convinced that my true profession is that of a journalist. What I didn’t like about journalism before were the working conditions. Besides, I had to condition my thoughts and ideas to the interests of the newspaper. Now, after having worked as a novelist, and having achieved financial independence as a novelist, I can really choose the themes that interest me and correspond to my ideas. In any case, I always very much enjoy the chance of doing a great piece of journalism.
Tags: journalism writing
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reblogged via differentclasswar
~ Thursday, April 17 ~
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11 Grammatical Words and Terms That Sound Dirty

bookriot:

Because I have the maturity level of an eight-year-old, here’s a list of grammar terms and words that sound dirty. Use them to excite the grammar lover in your life.

Interrobang
What it sounds like: Getting it on. “We couldn’t sleep – the neighbors were making too much noise interrobanging all night.”

What it actually means: An interrobang is a punctuation mark ‽ designed for use especially at the end of an exclamatory rhetorical question (I like that in the definition I read, they include ‘rhymes with orangutan.’)

(Definition: Merriam-Webster Online)

Diphthong
What it sounds like: Underthings. “You could see her dipthong peeking out of the top of her jeans.”

What it actually means: A gliding monosyllabic speech sound (as the vowel combination at the end of toy) that starts at or near the articulatory position for one vowel and moves to or toward the position of another.

(Definition: Merriam-Webster Online)

Dangling participle
What it sounds like
: Naughty bits.

What it actually means: A participle intended to modify a noun that is not actually present in the text.

(Definition: Oxford Dictionaries)

Fricatives
What it sounds like: The heat caused by rubbing up against one another.

What it actually means: A consonant characterized by frictional passage of the expired breath through a narrowing at some point in the vocal tract.

(Definition: Merriam-Webster Online)

Apposition
What it sounds like: “We tried more appositions than they show in the Kama Sutra.”

What it actually means: A grammatical construction in which two usually adjacent nouns having the same referent stand in the same syntactical relation to the rest of a sentence.

(Definition: Merriam-Webster Online)

Assimilation
What it sounds like: Well…I don’t know, but it has the word ‘ass’ in it. Teehee.

What it actually means: Change of a sound in speech so that it becomes identical with or similar to a neighboring sound.

(Definition: Merriam-Webster Online)

Conjugate
What it sounds like: Those special visits that inmates receive in prison.

What it actually means: To join together. Wait…

(Definition: The Free Dictionary)

Compound
What it sounds like: To give a vigorous rutting.

What it actually means: Of or pertaining to a compound sentence or compound-complex sentence.

(Definition: Dictionary.com)

Preposition
What it sounds like: To ask for sex. “Maura threw her drink in Eric’s face after he prepositioned her at the bar.”

What it actually means: A function word that typically combines with a noun phrase to form a phrase which usually expresses a modification or predication.

(Definition: Merriam-Webster Online)

Hyphenate
What it sounds like: Hyperventilating. “Their vigorous rutting left them both hyphenating.”

What it actually means: To connect (as two words) or divide (as a word at the end of a line of print) with a hyphen.

(Definition: Merriam-Webster Online)

Ellipsis
What it sounds like: What you kiss with. “They pressed their ellipsis together hard.”

What it actually means: The omission from speech or writing of a word or words that are superfluous or able to be understood from contextual clues.

(Definition: Oxford Dictionaries)

I love this.

Tags: Writing words WORDS AND WRITING bookriot
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reblogged via bookriot
~ Monday, April 14 ~
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Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Tags: writing
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reblogged via beesarealiens
~ Tuesday, April 8 ~
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imageoscillite:

Toy Story 3 screenwriter Michael Arndt walks us through writing a first act.

Tags: screenwriting writing toy story
56 notes
reblogged via imageoscillite
~ Friday, April 4 ~
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Sometimes I wonder if I’m losing it. Not the proverbial “it” like my sanity and my health and my raw charisma – that’s never going to leave me. But sometimes, when it’s 11:45 at night, and I’ve heard from yet another opportunity that they’re just not interested in my brand of me, I lie in bed and ask myself why I think I can still get away with calling myself a writer.

Let’s be honest, I haven’t produced a ton of original content in the last few months. It’s been a lot of lighter weight pieces that are image and quip heavy rather than thoughtful or provoking. (more)

Tags: writing tired so writing so much all the words
21 notes
~ Thursday, April 3 ~
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hernamewastangerine:

frenchtoastandpancakes:

My daughter has chosen the Dark Side

I’m crying.

Every time I encounter this video, I hit replay so many times it’s ridiculous.

This is the best. Kids are the best.

(Source: nerdinlove)

Tags: writing storytelling kids funny online video
199,378 notes
reblogged via gallifreyburning
~ Wednesday, April 2 ~
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You can ignore Entertainment Weekly’s spin about “passion and unique voices.” This is a deeply cynical decision that feeds off the dreams of inexperienced writers who are hoping to make a name for themselves in entertainment journalism. According to a story in Digiday, The Community will be made up of bloggers discovered “through social media and J-schools.” Let’s call that what it really is: Entertainment Weekly taking advantage of young writers who want to launch their careers, but aren’t sure where else they can be published.


So what are those writers getting in exchange? They’ll be “compensated in the form of prestige,” says Digiday, without any apparent irony. (If you can find a landlord that accepts prestige in lieu of a monthly rent payment, let me know.) But the already negligible value of that “prestige” is already dropping. Entertainment Weekly is kicking off the beta version of The Community with “20 or 30 bloggers,” but wants as many as 1,000 to begin writing for it in the months to come. How much is all that “prestige” going to be worth when there are 999 other writers vying for space on the landing page?

Tags: writing freelance freelance writing journalism entertainment weekly
747 notes
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Bylines Are Edible, Right?

Bylines Are Edible, Right?

anigif_enhanced-31671-1396383740-5

Sometimes I wonder if I’m losing it. Not the proverbial “it” like my sanity and my health and my raw charisma – that’s never going to leave me. But sometimes, when it’s 11:45 at night, and I’ve heard from yet another opportunity that they’re just not interested in my brand of me, I lie in bed and ask myself why I think I can still get away with calling myself a writer.

Let’s be honest, I haven’t…

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Tags: bylines freelancing personal where is all the money? writing writing is hard
12 notes
~ Thursday, March 27 ~
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incidentalcomics:

Styles of Writing

Tags: writing
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reblogged via fred-smurf
~ Sunday, March 16 ~
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Small-Batch Writing

I’ve entered a phase of novel-writing which partly resembles novel-writing and partly resembles something else—something furtive, like low-level espionage, or a secret drug addiction.

For the past two months or so I was writing full time, flat-out, or as flat-out as you can get in this age of modern distractions like Twitter and Kingdom Rush and babies-who-for-some-reason-don’t-feed-themselves. Now I’m back at work.

But when you’ve got enough momentum going with a novel, and you’ve got a bunch of deadlines for that novel that you’ve agreed to, in writing, you can’t just stop. So you don’t stop.
Instead you go dark.

For example: in the mornings I work from home for an hour or two before I go into the office. Not because there’s any particular reason for me to do that, except that by the time I hit the subway rush hour is over, which means I can probably get a seat, and if I get a seat I can crack open my MacBook Air and steal 20-25 minutes of writing time.

I’m always on the lookout for little gaps like that in my schedule: anytime I can get a block of 10 minutes or more, I take it. I write in waiting rooms. I write in cars while other people are driving (this is very boring for them, but I do it anyway). I write while pasta is boiling.
Sometimes when I’m taking care of my kids they fall asleep, or lose consciousness for other reasons. The second they do I’m at my keyboard. Ninja writer strikes! Then I go back to changing diapers.

It’s not ideal. It’s tough to keep your concentration, with your time chopped up like that. But on the plus side you tend to come at your writing from new angles, freshly, the way you would somebody else’s book. And there’s plenty of time for your subconscious to process things and toss out ideas while you’re distracted by other things. I get my best ideas 10 minutes after I’ve stopped writing and gone on to something else.

And since you’re writing in the spaces in between work, your brain automatically categorizes writing time as play. Which is as it should be.

But it means leading a bit of a double life. I don’t always feel great about it. I don’t know who said, ‘books are written with time stolen from other people’ (Paolo Bacigalupi? Anyway I heard it from him), but it’s true. I’m engaging in petty time-thievery, all day, every day.
If nothing else, it motivates you. What you’re writing had damn well better be worth it.

Lev Grossman

http://levgrossman.com

(via kadrey)

I totally do this.

Tags: writing
779 notes
reblogged via wilwheaton
~ Monday, March 10 ~
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Couples Counseling: My habits & Me

Couples Counseling: My habits & Me

It’s totally possible that I’ve damaged two of the relationships most central to my life.

I’m talking, of course, about books and food.

I didn’t think there was anything wrong. Then I was lying in bed at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, thinking wistfully of the Girl Scout cookies I had eaten half a sleeve of not an hour before and skimming the final few pages of The Cassoulet Saved Our Marriageunder a…

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Tags: being a grown up blockage of the mental sort books cooking farmers markets hobbits Lord of the Rings my issues reading self sufficiency The Cassoulet Saved Our Marriage Two Towers writing
4 notes
~ Tuesday, March 4 ~
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reblogged via fieldnotesfromabroad
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130 notes
~ Wednesday, February 12 ~
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But there’s significant evidence that the most productive writers compose not in binge sessions, but consistently, writing each day.
Tags: writing literature writing habits creativity
36 notes
~ Wednesday, January 1 ~
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reblogged via writersrelief